Put a Ring on it (then Take it Off)

Chicago Tribune’s RedEye May 7, 2011

My husband is a wonderful guy. He’s smart, handsome, kind, funny, and yet he does something that disgusts usually sensible women.

He doesn’t wear a wedding ring.

It isn’t a political statement or a sneering anarchist stab at breaking down social morays; he simply doesn’t like wearing rings. He gave it a go. He wore his wedding band on our honeymoon and a month or two after that, but he stopped soon after because he didn’t like the feel of it.

Understandable, right? Wrong. You’d be surprised how many of my girlfriends look at me like I own a puppy I can’t house train (spoiler alert: it’s all of them). They cluck their tongues and shake their heads slowly as if they can’t believe any self-respecting modern woman would let her husband run around without a ring.

My personal wedding ring saga has taken on renewed debate in my social circle after Prince William’s recent revelation that he will not wear a band even though his bride, the newly crowned Princess Kate, will. The announcement was made early last month and has been met with a tidal wave of shock and outrage from women worldwide. He’s getting the same negative scrutiny that my husband has been enduring.

Here’s the bottom line: Wedding rings do not stop men from cheating on their wives. Nor, for that matter, do they stop women from cheating on their husbands. They aren’t a magic band that makes sure underwear stays on as long as the ring does. Single, hungry women aren’t weakened by taken husbands’ wedding rings as Superman is when glowing green Kryptonite is nearby. In fact, a close friend of mine who takes great issue with my husband’s naked ring finger recently discovered her own husband cheated on her. His ring, in case you were interested, was firmly on his finger at the time.

I’m not opposed to wedding rings; I just don’t think they’re necessary. Wearing a wedding band is a sweet, sentimental tradition and I love the metaphor of them. Mine serves as a simple reminder of my husband that I can carry with me always … but I don’t need the reminder. And, let’s face it: If you need to be constantly reminded of your spouse by the presence of a piece of jewelry, then you have bigger problems than wedding rings on your plate.

I trust my husband and his fidelity; it’s the wedding band I don’t care about. His devotion to me and love for me doesn’t wane because he’s parted from his wedding band, just like mine for him doesn’t waver when I take my wedding band off to take a shower or to eat a messy burrito.

When all is said and done, marriage should be held in our hearts, not on our fingers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>